I am worse when I think of you

I am worse when I think of you,

Unbidden, unannounced, unintended,

I’m writing a poem, reading a book,

Or doing nothing at all,

And then,

Suddenly,

You’re here beside me with a smile,

A cup of coffee,

A kind word.

And I need to keep focused,

Keep writing, keep reading,

Keep nothing at all,

Because if I look at you,

You, who I miss so much I could weep blood,

There would be nothing left of me,

And me is all that’s left,

All that’s left after you left,

Trying so hard not to think of you.